Stuff Roach Knows

Suffroachknows.com: Your new favorite website

This is my bosom friend Rachelle, AKA Roach of stuffroachknows.com.

She started Stuff Roach Knows as a newsletter delivered straight to your inbox. Apparently newsletters are the new blogs (I can always count on Roach to have her finger on the pulse). But luckily for the world, she recently decided to buck the trends and start a website so that we can all pore over her bombass #content anytime we want instead of frantically refreshing our gmail on newsletter day. 

Here's an overview of some of the stuff Roach knows... 

How to survive Ikea with a romantic partner and/or passive aggressive roommate: "IKEA is the Swedish word for murder, but like a justified murder. (I think.) Let me help you get through a trip to IKEA and the construction of IKEA furniture without murdering anyone, or getting murdered." (Read more)

How to make a threatening cat cake: "I am not a cat person. Raul is. He has delusions about owning a cat someday. He will never own that cat, unless I die before him, which frankly is unlikely. But I thought for his birthday I could, out of the goodness of my heart, give him a cake shaped like a cat... 

So I had to tell a little story with the cat cake. A story of what would happen if a cat were added to my household. That story goes like this: I would smell its nastiness all the time, because we live in like a 7-sq. foot Brooklyn apartment that is not built for animals. Next, I would be the only one who would have to clean up its nasty poo, because of course I would. Lastly, it would bite me and I would die of infection from a cat bite. 

If you'd like to tell a similar story on a cat cake, here is how you can do that." (Read more)

The importance of kitchen shears: "I come to you to proselytize about kitchen shears. Maybe you already know about kitchen shears, and use them frequently. If so, you can hop right along and get back to your snipping. I'm here to talk to the people who don't already use scissors in your kitchen. Why aren't you using scissors in your kitchen? NO BUT REALLY. Give me one reason! WHY!?

...Moving on. There are a few things that will always make me feel better even when I feel like poo. They are: Golden Girls episodes, Rocky, this article about Stevie Wonder not being blind, and infomercial fail gifs. Along with making me snort laugh, they're a reminder that life is hard. But it's even harder without kitchen shears. Don't let your life be like the before section of an infomercial." (Read more) 

There's so much other stuff Roach knows (like how Yoko did not break up the Beatles, how to see where the Romanovs died, how to put chorizo on it, how to get rid of mice) that I wish I could just copy/paste for your reading pleasure and side-splitting laughter, but it's probably best if you just mosey on over to stuffroachknows.com and dive in for yourself. Bon voyage to the mind of Roach!